Life is Your Story

There are far too many people suffering in silence from the beast that is mental illness. They remain behind closed doors that should be open. They are imprisoned in their own minds.  Their loved ones worry about them and often feel helpless because there is so much they are trying to understand that can't be understood; unless experiencing it oneself.  We all experience crisis in our lifetimes. Some of us fall and get back up while those with mental illness often struggle and are unable to find their grounding.  This post is a shout out for love, understanding and support. This is about erasing the stigma that brings shame and secrecy to an illness that is misunderstood and under funded.  Those suffering can only rise to their feet if those surrounding them are willing to join them hand in hand and take a step forward - far too many steps have been taken backward. ---------------------------------------------- What happens when the ground you stand upon

This is a true story and it is fascinating.  I went to the grocery store. I was in the mood for some Beck's non alcoholic beer (is there any other kind?). I am always hesitant to walk into that "walk- in" beer fridge. I wonder who else is in that fridge?  So I go in and it’s cold because it’s a fridge. I make my way around the maze of crates and boxes and then I smell cologne and I don’t wear cologne so I know its not me.  Then this large man (anyone is large compared to me) comes around the bend and smiles and says,  “What are you looking for little lady?” and I say... “It’s a beer fridge – I’m looking for beer.” He smiles, pats me on the back – which is strange because we are face to face. I find my Beck’s beer, smile on the inside and then I turn  around and the cologne guy is right up in my face. I am suddenly afraid and then to make things worse (worse than being alone in a giant cold fridge with a stranger who is close talking me),

Of all the things we experience in our lifetimes - love is undeniably the most significant. Love gives and receives. It makes us feel alive even when we are near death. It's the one thing we can take with us because in the end; love departs hand in hand with our souls. When we are in crisis, the first thing we reach for is love. It provides an escape from our worries and obsessions as it wraps its arms around us and whispers "You are not alone - I will always walk beside you." Love knows us better than we know ourselves. Love leads us to where we are supposed to be on the purest and most intimate level. There are no rubber bands for love, no walks or bike rides, yet love is the force behind all of the causes that drive us to be there for our families and friends. So if you are feeling empty, remember that love is waiting around the corner to remind you why you are here. Go love and then love some more. For my parents  - For your parents -  th

After hearing so much about the Netflix series - Fauda - from friends and family I finally decided to check it out - give it a go. I would not have hesitated but I saw there were subtitles and I wasn't sure if I could read, eat chips and watch a show all at the same time. I knew this was going to be a big responsibility and I had to be ready for it. Once I started watching - I realized that the subtitles may as well read.... OH SHIT - OH SHIT - SOMETHING IS HAPPENING - SOMETHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN - SOMETHING JUST HAPPENED - SOMETHING IS HAPPENING AGAIN - GET ME SOME OXYGEN... Actually I haven't eaten or slept or talked to myself (probably have but I no longer notice - like when you are in a relationship with someone who is always talking - even during Fauda - and you just learn to tune them out). I'm not sure if it is raining or snowing because the blinds are drawn. I have a migraine from reading without my glasses and I also have a migraine from reading with m

I did not expect to be single at this stage of life but I have found a way around it and highly recommend it to anyone in my position. Don’t get me wrong – being alone mid-life is not an easy pill to swallow. Many deep thoughts have traversed through my slightly tangled and wondrous mind:  Maybe I should have stopped after the fifth tattoo. Maybe baseball caps should no longer be a permanent fixture in my vast and glorious wardrobe.  Maybe I should have listened to my mother and married that accountant. Maybe I should have ditched my graphic T's and button fly Levis for a dress - although there would be no real point to that (other than giving my mother a sliver of hope) because I would still be wearing my Levis under the dress. Yep I was digging real deep until one miraculous Saturday - I met Netflix and we started dating. We didn’t meet on Tinder or Bumble – there were no swipes or hook ups or need for geo tracking. Nope none of that - for just $10 - I foun

Since passing the 50 yard line - I have been experiencing some deep thoughts about all the stuff I am going to do when I am a Golden Girl.  Here are the top 13 -  I couldn't stop at 10 because I am far too excited in anticipation of all that is to come: 13 -JOIN A SENIORS SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMING TROUPE   EVEN THOUGH THERE IS NOTHING ABOUT MY LIFE THAT IS SYNCHRONIZED AND THE BEST CONTRIBUTION I CAN MAKE IS BUBBLES FROM A FART IN THE POOL. 12 -ASK ONE OF THE HOT ORDERLIES TO CALL ME BABE  (AND GIVE ME A SPONGE BATH). 11 -CINNAMON DANISH OR SEX = CINNAMON DANISH  (UNLESS THE AFOREMENTIONED ORDERLY DIVES IN DURING THE SPONGE BATH AND DOES SOME "SYCRONIZATION" 10 -SUPER SIZE MY FRIES. Bring on the calories. It's time to let it all go. 9- TALK TO MYSELF WHEN SOMEONE IS TALKING TO ME (IF ANYONE IS ACTUALLY WILLING TO TALK TO ME).   8 -BRING ON THE DENTURES - NO SENSE IN HAVING TEETH ANYMORE OR GOING TO THE DENTIST AND I AM GOING TO EAT TONS OF GUMMIES AND

·           Someone who makes you feel like 2 cents. ·           Someone who makes you feel like a million dollars. ·           A friend who never grew up. ·           A friend who never had the chance to be a kid. ·           Someone more successful than you. ·           Someone in need of a hand up not a hand out. ·           A co-worker who makes your life impossible. ·           A co-worker who enriches your life. ·           A mentor. ·           Someone for you to mentor. ·           A teacher who changes the course of your life. ·           A lover you are addicted to and can never have. ·           Someone who will hurt you because they have been hurt. ·           Someone who teaches you how to love yourself by loving you first. ·           An offensive, unpleasant, aggressive individual who upsets you to your very core. ·           A warm, engaging soul who nurtures you in every way and makes you whole. ·           Friend

Let’s be clear on this – I have no booty. I wear men’s “Low Waist Levi’s” and I don’t have a waist. My pants therefore fall down. I wear belts but they are of little use – sort of like carrying a goldfish home from the pet store in a plastic bag – that’s not what the bag is for and that’s not where the fish is supposed to live and that has no relevance to anything I am saying. Here are the Top 9 (couldn’t think of 10) Tips on how you can shake your booty like I shake mine and I strongly advise you do not follow any of these suggestions. 9 – Ditch those big leather purses with the studs and giant zippers and put on a knapsack. It fits conveniently on your back and you can carry it without carrying it. Also you can fit a lot in it because of its depth and you can even have a water bottle handy. 8 – Stop with the make-up, most especially the lip liner and the lip stick. It’s a mess. It ends up all over your coffee cup and other people’s faces when you kiss them. You

First of all, I am not 18 or even close. I am 50 "something" but  when i was 17 - going down south meant going to Florida and when I was 18 going down south meant.....never mind. And now? Well now it means my entire body is going down south and I am pretty sure I am slowly shrinking (which is disturbing given I am only 5'1" and I don't believe in "hemming" jeans however I do believe in taking a pair of scissors and cutting them crooked). I use to look in the mirror and the reflection was average to good. Now I look in the mirror and hear my late, great, grandma Mary saying "OYE" (which is Yiddish for "Oye"). Do you want to hear the truth? Sure you do - here it is... You look in the mirror. If you gained weight - you will look heavier. If you lost weight - you will look thinner. If you rarely sleep, you will have bags under your eyes. If you took too much sun you will have lines and freckles on your face. If you have s

It's a long way from me to you Use to be so many ways  From me to you Now there's just one way There's just you There's just me And that's really no way From me to you There's this long country road I'm driving down with the window open I smell the air and I feel the wind against my face There's that crossroad you see in all the movies And you hear about in all the songs And as I stop the car, get out and look around I see the road I can continue heading down The other roads I can take To the left To the right To somewhere To nowhere I wait there in the hot sun with the wires buzzing and moths flying through the air I look over my shoulder I listen for any hint of the sound of your voice A sound I would know anywhere I stand there alone I stay until sundown Every hope, every wish, every dream of you suddenly appearing and telling me you love me and you miss me and you want

Last night my dog Buddy came to me in a dream the way sometimes dearly departed souls visit you when you least expect it and the experience is so visceral, so deep that it both hurts and heals. I was in the country with a friend checking out a farm for sale. I exited one of the many tattered barns and as I came around the bend Buddy was just standing there.  He appeared as a hologram floating in the mist, in the fog. It had been 7 years since we last were together. I thought of him every day and while most of the thoughts were happy and provided me with wonderful memories of our life together; there were always those waves that washed over me at night - a tide burying me somewhere in the sand. But now he stood in front of me and the hologram transitioned into all of Buddy and his beauty - just the way I remembered him -- healthy, handsome and goofy of course. Buddy was quite a character. He was my birthday present when I turned 30 ( a Flat Coat Retriever we adopted from a shelt