Life is Your Story

I’ve watched love walk out the door And watched it march right back in again I’ve mourned the loss of love Wondering where things went wrong Knowing when things stopped being right Sometimes I imagine there is someone on their way to me They missed their flight or they are sitting on a bench in the pouring rain waiting for a bus. They are somewhere in the stillness, in the in-between, the this and that, the here and there. Sometimes you are with someone They share your home They share your bed They play an integral role in your life But you feel completely alone You wonder how much longer you can stay And what would happen if you left Alone in love or no love at all                                               Photo by Luis Alfonso Orellana If you’ve been in love You know that sweet spot When everything is off the...

Since you left I have been crashing into furniture in the dark I have been waiting to feel something for someone else I've re -examined the whole thing Taken it apart piece by piece Argued to the left Argued to the right I'm afraid to go to the places we use to hang out Afraid I may see you - Afraid I may not see you I come home at the end of the day hoping you will be here hoping you've changed your mind about me about us about everything I pray for amnesia to dull the pain I fear that without you there is no me I lay awake at night Waiting to hear your key in the door Waiting for you to come back and tell me that everything is alright that  you never stopped loving me and you will never leave again I need to see you I need to hear you speak my name And I promise you this...  I will wait here A few more moments And if you do not show up As difficult as it may be I will wait here forever I'm sorry Come find me

I still see you even though you are no longer here I still feel the part of me that is you even though I am numb I still look for you when I return home at the end of the day  To an empty apartment where you've never lived and I never thought I would  I reach my hands over to your side of the bed expecting to feel you there, warm, breathing beside me Even though you will never sleep in this bed. I still tell you about my day and something funny that happened  Even though I can't hear you laugh or watch your eyes read my lips  I still love you even if you don't love me Because with all love, with our love... There's the stillness There's the movement And somewhere in-between  There is you

Heartbreak is a scar that you carry around hidden beneath your sleeve but always visible in your eyes. No matter how much you grow or how many others you fall in love with, you never forget that one great, big heartbreak. And it’s not just your heart that breaks, it’s your mind as well.   You see life differently and everyone else you encounter thereafter is subjected to careful examination.  You put on a brave face at work all day but when you return home you find yourself struggling to pick up the pieces of your shattered heart that have fallen everywhere and nowhere. This break, this dark cloud dipping into your soul has brought you to your knees leaving you unable to sleep, think or eat. The pain so intense, you are convinced it cannot be tamed. But for the most part and as time goes on, the thoughts and images fade and the pain lessens. The heart begins to heal and blossom and you open it up for business once again. You realize that withou...

Ending a long, loving relationship with someone who has been your best friend, your other half and whom unfortunately you’ve grown apart from; is a form of death. The pain, the abandonment, the tide of being scared and sick to your stomach and dizzy and confused comes rushing in and drowns you in its wake. It’s a tear, a rip, a cut that won’t heal. And as with death’s occurrence, there are arrangements to be made. You can’t see straight or think or eat but you have to put it to sleep. You have to turn off the machines, say goodbye, bury everything, all of it – the smiles, the tears, the joint ventures, the good fight you fought as one, the losses, the gains, all of it deep beneath the ground never to be seen again. Often there are others who will be hurt whether it be children, extended family, mutual friends or beloved pets. And you know what? It’s an impossible situation because you can’t stay and you can’t leave. And you wonder “How do I star...

We all have one. It’s someone you loved (whether or not they loved you back), still love and think of often. You carry them around with you everywhere and all throughout your life. You wonder if you will run into them at some obscure time for one intense moment and if you did, you wonder what you would say. You remember their face so clearly that you can see it whenever you search the back of your mind. Your life goes on and you share it with another and all of its complexities keep you busy and running but on a dark night while driving home or on a sleepy Sunday while hanging out on the couch; the memory of them seeps out from your pores and it brings all of the regrets, frustration, pain and happiness back in one mighty swoop. Sometimes you consider looking them up – finding them – calling them and seeing if you can be friends. You imagine yourself showing up on their doorstep and everything being okay and embracing in a warm hug. Other times you hope...

Regret. It's a tough pill to swallow. It's part of life. It's usually about doing something you shouldn't have done or being with someone you shouldn't have been with or saying something that never should have been said. I have regrets and so do you. As humans we are programmed to make many, many mistakes before we figure things out for ourselves. It's our trial and error, our "I think I'll do this and see what happens next" even though you pretty much know what will happen next. But you know what is worse than regret - not regretting - I mean how much fun is that? What if we did everything right the first time and there were no second, third, fourth, etc tries? What if we met the person we were going to spend our lives with at the start of our lives and therefore never bothered to meet any other potential partners? What if we never drank too much or smoked too much and were never sitting on the bathroom floor staring into the to...

We all start relationships with the best of intentions. We meet someone and they make us feel good about ourselves. They make us feel whole and alive. These feelings are amazing. They are some of the most incredible we have in our lifetimes. However they don't always stay because sooner or later we show our true colours, we argue over the same thing again and again and we lose the physical attraction we have for one another. When all of that takes place, you better have a rock hard friendship to hold up that bridge because a bridge is what you are going to need to get from there to somewhere new, next and better. Think about this - how often do you argue your partner (minimum 5 years together)? How often have you lied about something because it's easier to lie than to have an argument? How often have you said something really awful in the heat of a fight that you wish you hadn't said and you know you can't take back because it will still be there looming ...