DEEP THOUGHTS FROM A 50 SOMETHING YR OLD WOMAN
Since passing the 50 yard line - I have been experiencing some deep thoughts about all the stuff I am going to do when I am a Golden Girl. Here are the top 13 - I couldn't stop at 10 because I am far too excited in anticipation of all that is to come: 13 -JOIN A SENIORS SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMING TROUPE EVEN THOUGH THERE IS NOTHING ABOUT MY LIFE THAT IS SYNCHRONIZED AND THE BEST CONTRIBUTION I CAN MAKE IS BUBBLES FROM A FART IN THE POOL. 12 -ASK ONE OF THE HOT ORDERLIES TO CALL ME BABE (AND GIVE ME A SPONGE BATH). 11 -CINNAMON DANISH OR SEX = CINNAMON DANISH (UNLESS THE AFOREMENTIONED ORDERLY DIVES IN DURING THE SPONGE BATH AND DOES SOME "SYCRONIZATION" 10 -SUPER SIZE MY FRIES. Bring on the calories. It's time to let it all go. 9- TALK TO MYSELF WHEN SOMEONE IS TALKING TO ME (IF ANYONE IS ACTUALLY WILLING TO TALK TO ME). 8 -BRING ON THE DENTURES - NO SENSE IN HAVING TEETH ANYMORE OR GOING TO THE DENTIST AND I AM GOING TO EAT TONS OF ...