Life is Your Story

It’s that moment when you turn off the lights to go to sleep. But sleep doesn’t come. Shadows invite you to dance with them on the wall. Your mind drifts along a river of worry and questions – so many questions. There are trivial thoughts such as the list of things to do that you didn’t do and whether you have a stomach ache from the dessert you ate or was it that sandwich with all the mayonnaise you had for lunch? Then the heavyweights move in. You miss those whom are no longer with you. Whether it’s a break up, a divorce or they have passed from this world;there is always going to be an emptiness in the depth of your gut. There are many “what ifs?” and “what’s next?” There’s a true appreciation for all that you have – for the person lying beside you, for your  children sound asleep, for the parents you so dearly love, some with you, some gone and some hanging on for dear life. There’s money. There’s always money. It shouldn't be in

So it's the end of a long day and you are finally getting cozy in bed. By the dim light of a lamp, you read a few pages of a book you never seem to finish and the need for sleep overwhelms you. The light goes off and there you are staring at the ceiling. Darkness. It conjures up thoughts and images we manage to avoid or ignore in the light. I find that right there in that very moment, I think of those who have passed on from this life and left me with my heart in my hand missing them always. I wonder where they've gone in the afterlife. I close my eyes and I see their faces. Memories rush through my brain turning the cog wheel at such a constant, powerful pace that my heart starts to beat faster. I force myself to remember the good times when they were healthy,vibrant, laughing the way they laughed and very much a part of life in its entirety and a part of me. I think of my Grandfather who fought in two world wars, traveled the world, a painter, a sculptor and a pharmaci

I t was 1AM, I couldn't sleep and neither could my dog Gainey so I grabbed a headlight and we snuck out without awaking my other canine or my husband. We headed down a wooded path in the light of a half moon. We were surrounded by giant pines and the sound of crickets and bull frogs chatting by a pond. We headed up a small hill and sat on a large rock and looked up at the sky. In the country, you can see all the stars. Whenever I look up at the sky I think of my dogs who passed away almost a year ago. I lost both of them within a month of one another. They were my boys and I loved them very much. While Buddy was older his stroke and passing the next day did not come as a total surprise however my Buster was only 4 and his terminal cancer diagnosis came as a terrible, horrific force that I wrestled with all my might but in the end I lost that battle as did Buster. Deep in the sky silouettes of warm white clouds float like giant snowflakes and every now and then a star sudden