I'M FEELING 50 - ARE YOU?
I'm feeling 50 - I mean I am feeling it everywhere. I'm tired. I'm squinting. I say "oye" all the time. "Oye!" I'm trying to remember what foreplay is but all I can think of it as eating a bag of Miss Vickie's Salt Vinegar chips before watching Shark Tank (which I watch and shout out "I had that idea - I had that idea - damn!") I've lost my taste for food that has any taste because gas is a stark reality of feeling 50 so best to avoid it (the gas). I eat mostly bread and toast (which is bread toasted) and I usually find the time to fit in some danish or other bakery type product (which is delicious). I use to work out every day - I mean intense works outs. Now I get on the elliptical and my knee says "Oh don't do it - don't do it." And what on earth is happening to my neck? There are lines and creases and the skin is like butter - you hear me? Like butter!" I would cover it all up with a b...