Life is Your Story

Somewhere between here and there Then and now The sadness and pain Will shift and change Linger and leave Your weary beaten mind Will find a path To a better place Where life goes on And so do you Your loss Your tragedy That once brought you to your knees Will transform into strength Beyond any force Beyond any fear You are a survivor Feeling everything Feeling nothing Get up on your feet Look backward once Look forward twice And in one great sum Become comfortably numb

Below is a list of questions I have been asking myself since I turned 40. Have you asked yourself any of these questions? ·           Am I bloated or is that fat? ·           What is that line on my forehead and how did it get there? ·           Should I get smaller bras or better straps?          Why am I so tired? ·           Do I actually look closer to 50 than closer to let’s say 45? ·           Why does it hurt when I bend down? ·           Why does it hurt when I turn my head this way? ·           Why does everything hurt? ·           Is it hot in here or is it just me? ·           What’s foreplay? ·           How come I can’t remember something that happened 5 minutes ago? ·           What just happened? ·           Are those bags under my eyes or did someone stick Plato on my face when I was sleeping? ·           Is grey my real hair colour? ·           How hard can it be to lose 5lbs? ·           When was the last time someone called

Kiss me Tongue me Lick me Love me Here There Everywhere Warm Wet Wonderful Love your lips Love your love Waltzing Dancing Tongue to tongue Beautiful - Naked We are one  Happy Valentine's Day to everyone who has found love and to all the brave souls who are willing to try and find it again. 

I couldn’t sleep. I found myself sitting on the side of the bed, negotiating with the hurricane that had blown through my life. I made my way to an all-night diner for people like me who find themselves wide awake while everyone else sleeps. All members of a club with no name and only one rule, "Don't judge me and I won't judge you." I was in need of a gentle hand stroking my back.  I needed to hold someone and be held. I needed to spend time with someone who knew nothing about me and who wouldn't ask the questions everyone asks. I needed someone to stay without leaving and leave without staying. I needed a bright shade of blue upon my weeping, blank canvas. Two stools down the counter, sipping coffee and reading  an old messed up copy of “Beautiful Losers” by Leonard Cohen, sat a man with a face chiseled and shaped by the greatest artists of all time. He was wearing a white t-shirt, faded Levi's and Converse shoes. His arms were graced in tattoo

Whether you married, whether you divorced, moved to another city, adopted a dog, adopted a baby, had children of your own, never had a child, parted company with a childhood friend, bought a house, sold a house, lost everything, found it all over again, really loved someone, took that pill that made it all go away and then took it again, had a drink and had another, lied so many times you no longer know the truth, said things you knew you shouldn’t have said, kissed someone that wasn’t yours to kiss and then wanted so much more than that kiss, lost a parent – a sibling – a partner and were left with a space that will never be filled, hid in someone’s arms and melted away, left someone standing with their heart in their hands… Some things stand out. The love you have for those who surround and love you. The career you have chosen and the passion you have for everything outside of those work hours – the art, the literature, the cooking, the tasting, the wet kisses, the hug, the hold

We all share pain The way we share love The way we share ourselves We all feel pain Some of us more than others We all understand pain We've all met pain Walked around the block with pain Joined it for coffee and a cigarette We all fear pain And loath pain And wish it would let us be No one should be alone in pain But so many are Pain visits us throughout our lives It's there at the end To remind us Of the good parts The sunsets The sunrises The kisses Being held Being loved We drift off Say goodbye Follow the steps Of one last dance And pray Wherever we go There is no such thing As pain

When I was a kid, my "happily ever after" (hereafter noted as "HEA") consisted of marrying my Ken doll (G.I. Joe was a close 2 nd ) and moving to Colorado where we would build a log home  without  a picket fence and have mountain children and a goat named Ed.     Then I went off to elementary school and when I was in that pivotal role of a 6 th  grader – not quite a child, not quite a teenager, I changed my mind and my HEA became  marrying a Veterinarian and having 5 dogs instead of 5 children and naming them Gus, Spade, Hank, Jack and Wilbur. High school came along and my HEA became me and my friends moving to California and living together in one of those houses by Venice Beach. We would run a taco stand on the boardwalk and play guitar and drink beer by a bonfire at night. Then I made my way to University and all my HEA became – "What am I going to do with my life and how am I ever going to be able to move out of my parent’s bas

I still see you even though you are no longer here I still feel the part of me that is you even though I am numb I still look for you when I return home at the end of the day  To an empty apartment where you've never lived and I never thought I would  I reach my hands over to your side of the bed expecting to feel you there, warm, breathing beside me Even though you will never sleep in this bed. I still tell you about my day and something funny that happened  Even though I can't hear you laugh or watch your eyes read my lips  I still love you even if you don't love me Because with all love, with our love... There's the stillness There's the movement And somewhere in-between  There is you

This is a true story and it is fascinating.  I went to the grocery store. I was in the mood for some Beck's non alcoholic beer (is there any other kind?). I am always hesitant to walk into those beer fridges because I don't know is someone is hiding behind a box of Beck's non alcoholic beer or if the door will lock, leaving me trapped.  So I go in and it’s cold because it’s a fridge. I make my way around the maze of crates and boxes and then I smell cologne and I don’t wear cologne so I know its not me.  Then this large man (anyone is large compared to me) comes around the bend and smiles and says, “What are you looking for little lady?” and I say... “It’s a beer fridge – I’m looking for beer.” He smiles, pats me on the back – which is strange because we are face to face. I find my Beck’s beer, smile on the inside and then I turn  around and the cologne guy is right up in my face. I am suddenly afraid and then to make things worse (worse than bei

Heartbreak is a scar that you carry around hidden beneath your sleeve but always visible in your eyes. No matter how much you grow or how many others you fall in love with, you never forget that one great, big heartbreak. And it’s not just your heart that breaks, it’s your mind as well.   You see life differently and everyone else you encounter thereafter is subjected to careful examination.  You put on a brave face at work all day but when you return home you find yourself struggling to pick up the pieces of your shattered heart that have fallen everywhere and nowhere. This break, this dark cloud dipping into your soul has brought you to your knees leaving you unable to sleep, think or eat. The pain so intense, you are convinced it cannot be tamed. But for the most part and as time goes on, the thoughts and images fade and the pain lessens. The heart begins to heal and blossom and you open it up for business once again. You realize that without a broke

Welcome to Lisa Audrey Cohen's.... Deep Thoughts from a 40 Something Year Old Woman Is that a blow torch up my ass or am I just having a hot flash? Something sweet to say to me: “Honey, you are just as beautiful as the day we met” or “I like you with whiskers” What is that kangaroo pouch above my waist line and why does it remain there even when I suck my gut in and does it come with a baby kangaroo or just water retention (I’m naming the baby kangaroo Sally)? Me and Bob Gainey - Having Deep Thoughts. A Sports bra is highly recommended even if you are just sitting on the couch.  All of the action is heading down south toward the knee caps and the knee caps are creaking and aching especially when I bend, walk, run or lie down. Heading down south use to mean heading to Florida. Heading downtown use to mean …never mind. Stop those Diane Keaton L’Oreal commercials. She is killing me. Does she actually look like that at her age? I don’t

Strength keeps you standing even when the ground beneath you is crumbling. When something traumatic happens in your life, the blow can be so severe, that you find yourself knocking on a friend's door, asking if you can borrow some of their strength. And as you stand with your heart in your hand, and an aching pain in your gut, you are fully aware that you may not be able to return that strength, for some time. Strength allows you to focus on the middle rather than the beginning or the end. Strength is what gets you from here to there. There will always be a demand for strength. There will never be a demand for weakness.  Just keep in mind that weakness usually shows up first. It's up to you whether strength shows up next.

Ending a long, loving relationship with someone who has been your best friend, your other half and whom unfortunately you’ve grown apart from; is a form of death. The pain, the abandonment, the tide of being scared and sick to your stomach and dizzy and confused comes rushing in and drowns you in its wake. It’s a tear, a rip, a cut that won’t heal. And as with death’s occurrence, there are arrangements to be made. You can’t see straight or think or eat but you have to put it to sleep. You have to turn off the machines, say goodbye, bury everything, all of it – the smiles, the tears, the joint ventures, the good fight you fought as one, the losses, the gains, all of it deep beneath the ground never to be seen again. Often there are others who will be hurt whether it be children, extended family, mutual friends or beloved pets. And you know what? It’s an impossible situation because you can’t stay and you can’t leave. And you wonder “How do I star

To stick your neck out and take the first hit To stop focusing on yourself and instead focus on them To lift them up off the ground by first spending some time on the ground beside them To open your home, your heart and never make them feel needy To listen and not speak To be non-judgemental To realize it is a very thin line between their fall and you falling To endure some discomfort and inconvenience so they endure less To understand  that being there for someone you love IS LOVE To make a decision to stick by them and stick to that decision To understand that although you may want to save them They may not want to be saved To give them everything you have to give  Even if they don't take it To wake up every morning Wondering will this be the day? They let me in And to keep on trying Even when you are at your wit's end Because you know That is what it means To be there for someone

There’s a common ground between all of us and it starts with worrying. Everyone everywhere worries about something. We are born to worry. Some of us turn it off better than others but for the most part it’s always there in the back of your mind pulling at you. Health or lack thereof can especially bring on worry. It’s one of the most important things you can worry about. It’s something that you often have little control over but it can take control of you and your entire life in a fraction of a second. We worry about love. Love isn’t free and it isn’t all that you need but whatever you do have of it and no matter how much you have of it; you worry you will lose it. We all lose love and find love throughout our lifetimes. We give our love away and we take love often without really comprehending its value. We worry about our children from the time they are born until the time we leave this world and chances are that even when we are no longer here