Life is Your Story

Since passing the 50 yard line - I have been experiencing some deep thoughts about all the stuff I am going to do when I am a Golden Girl.  Here are the top 13 -  I couldn't stop at 10 because I am far too excited in anticipation of all that is to come: 13 -JOIN A SENIORS SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMING TROUPE   EVEN THOUGH THERE IS NOTHING ABOUT MY LIFE THAT IS SYNCHRONIZED AND THE BEST CONTRIBUTION I CAN MAKE IS BUBBLES FROM A FART IN THE POOL. 12 -ASK ONE OF THE HOT ORDERLIES TO CALL ME BABE  (AND GIVE ME A SPONGE BATH). 11 -CINNAMON DANISH OR SEX = CINNAMON DANISH  (UNLESS THE AFOREMENTIONED ORDERLY DIVES IN DURING THE SPONGE BATH AND DOES SOME "SYCRONIZATION" 10 -SUPER SIZE MY FRIES. Bring on the calories. It's time to let it all go. 9- TALK TO MYSELF WHEN SOMEONE IS TALKING TO ME (IF ANYONE IS ACTUALLY WILLING TO TALK TO ME).   8 -BRING ON THE DENTURES - NO SENSE IN HAVING TEETH ANYMORE OR GOING TO THE DENTIST AND I AM GOING TO EAT TONS OF GUMMIES AND

·           Someone who makes you feel like 2 cents. ·           Someone who makes you feel like a million dollars. ·           A friend who never grew up. ·           A friend who never had the chance to be a kid. ·           Someone more successful than you. ·           Someone in need of a hand up not a hand out. ·           A co-worker who makes your life impossible. ·           A co-worker who enriches your life. ·           A mentor. ·           Someone for you to mentor. ·           A teacher who changes the course of your life. ·           A lover you are addicted to and can never have. ·           Someone who will hurt you because they have been hurt. ·           Someone who teaches you how to love yourself by loving you first. ·           An offensive, unpleasant, aggressive individual who upsets you to your very core. ·           A warm, engaging soul who nurtures you in every way and makes you whole. ·           Friend

Let’s be clear on this – I have no booty. I wear men’s “Low Waist Levi’s” and I don’t have a waist. My pants therefore fall down. I wear belts but they are of little use – sort of like carrying a goldfish home from the pet store in a plastic bag – that’s not what the bag is for and that’s not where the fish is supposed to live and that has no relevance to anything I am saying. Here are the Top 9 (couldn’t think of 10) Tips on how you can shake your booty like I shake mine and I strongly advise you do not follow any of these suggestions. 9 – Ditch those big leather purses with the studs and giant zippers and put on a knapsack. It fits conveniently on your back and you can carry it without carrying it. Also you can fit a lot in it because of its depth and you can even have a water bottle handy. 8 – Stop with the make-up, most especially the lip liner and the lip stick. It’s a mess. It ends up all over your coffee cup and other people’s faces when you kiss them. You

First of all, I am not 18 or even close. I am 50 "something" but  when i was 17 - going down south meant going to Florida and when I was 18 going down south meant.....never mind. And now? Well now it means my entire body is going down south and I am pretty sure I am slowly shrinking (which is disturbing given I am only 5'1" and I don't believe in "hemming" jeans however I do believe in taking a pair of scissors and cutting them crooked). I use to look in the mirror and the reflection was average to good. Now I look in the mirror and hear my late, great, grandma Mary saying "OYE" (which is Yiddish for "Oye"). Do you want to hear the truth? Sure you do - here it is... You look in the mirror. If you gained weight - you will look heavier. If you lost weight - you will look thinner. If you rarely sleep, you will have bags under your eyes. If you took too much sun you will have lines and freckles on your face. If you have s

It's a long way from me to you Use to be so many ways  From me to you Now there's just one way There's just you There's just me And that's really no way From me to you There's this long country road I'm driving down with the window open I smell the air and I feel the wind against my face There's that crossroad you see in all the movies And you hear about in all the songs And as I stop the car, get out and look around I see the road I can continue heading down The other roads I can take To the left To the right To somewhere To nowhere I wait there in the hot sun with the wires buzzing and moths flying through the air I look over my shoulder I listen for any hint of the sound of your voice A sound I would know anywhere I stand there alone I stay until sundown Every hope, every wish, every dream of you suddenly appearing and telling me you love me and you miss me and you want

Last night my dog Buddy came to me in a dream the way sometimes dearly departed souls visit you when you least expect it and the experience is so visceral, so deep that it both hurts and heals. I was in the country with a friend checking out a farm for sale. I exited one of the many tattered barns and as I came around the bend Buddy was just standing there.  He appeared as a hologram floating in the mist, in the fog. It had been 7 years since we last were together. I thought of him every day and while most of the thoughts were happy and provided me with wonderful memories of our life together; there were always those waves that washed over me at night - a tide burying me somewhere in the sand. But now he stood in front of me and the hologram transitioned into all of Buddy and his beauty - just the way I remembered him -- healthy, handsome and goofy of course. Buddy was quite a character. He was my birthday present when I turned 30 ( a Flat Coat Retriever we adopted from a shelt

It's a sick, haunting thought but we all know someone who has passed suddenly, tragically and unexpectedly.  And if you are single and you have a dog - at some point you have to ask yourself - -  "Who will take care of my dog if I die? Having volunteered at a dog shelter, I often came in touch with dogs who had been left behind after their owners had passed away. There was no succession plan like people have for their kids. These dogs were instant orphans missing their home and their human mom/dad. Dogs suffer in silence. The deep sadness and confusion is difficult to alleviate because we can't explain to them what has happened and they can't ask any questions. I'm alive and I don't leave my dog with anyone. I have had dogs my entire life and they have accompanied me on all my vacations (camping, hiking, no planes - car rides - anything for my pooches). My whole life has revolved around my dogs and my present dog has only been with

Since you left I have been crashing into furniture in the dark I have been waiting to feel something for someone else I've re -examined the whole thing Taken it apart piece by piece Argued to the left Argued to the right I'm afraid to go to the places we use to hang out Afraid I may see you - Afraid I may not see you I come home at the end of the day hoping you will be here hoping you've changed your mind about me about us about everything I pray for amnesia to dull the pain I fear that without you there is no me I lay awake at night Waiting to hear your key in the door Waiting for you to come back and tell me that everything is alright that  you never stopped loving me and you will never leave again I need to see you I need to hear you speak my name And I promise you this...  I will wait here A few more moments And if you do not show up As difficult as it may be I will wait here forever I'm sorry Come find me

I know you love me more than you love yourself. I know that you think of me all day when you are at work and I am at home thinking about you. I know you would skip a weeknight out because I have been alone all day and weeknights are for me and you. I know that if I wait on the floor beneath your chair that sooner or later you will drop some food and I will grab it and gobble it down before you can take it away from me. I know all of your pain and have counted all of your teardrops and I don't like anyone who has hurt you or anyone who may hurt you. I know you made sacrifices when you rescued me and that you gave me a second chance. I know that when you came to the shelter I noticed you right away and I wanted you to take me home. I know that when you saw me in the shelter, you thought I was cute and you heard my story and you felt badly and as much as you wanted to save me you were concerned as to whether you would be the right parent/home for me but yo