Life is Your Story

First of all, I am not 18 or even close. I am 50 "something" but  when i was 17 - going down south meant going to Florida and when I was 18 going down south meant.....never mind. And now? Well now it means my entire body is going down south and I am pretty sure I am slowly shrinking (which is disturbing given I am only 5'1" and I don't believe in "hemming" jeans however I do believe in taking a pair of scissors and cutting them crooked). I use to look in the mirror and the reflection was average to good. Now I look in the mirror and hear my late, great, grandma Mary saying "OYE" (which is Yiddish for "Oye"). Do you want to hear the truth? Sure you do - here it is... You look in the mirror. If you gained weight - you will look heavier. If you lost weight - you will look thinner. If you rarely sleep, you will have bags under your eyes. If you took too much sun you will have lines and freckles on your face. If you have s

It's a long way from me to you Use to be so many ways  From me to you Now there's just one way There's just you There's just me And that's really no way From me to you There's this long country road I'm driving down with the window open I smell the air and I feel the wind against my face There's that crossroad you see in all the movies And you hear about in all the songs And as I stop the car, get out and look around I see the road I can continue heading down The other roads I can take To the left To the right To somewhere To nowhere I wait there in the hot sun with the wires buzzing and moths flying through the air I look over my shoulder I listen for any hint of the sound of your voice A sound I would know anywhere I stand there alone I stay until sundown Every hope, every wish, every dream of you suddenly appearing and telling me you love me and you miss me and you want

Last night my dog Buddy came to me in a dream the way sometimes dearly departed souls visit you when you least expect it and the experience is so visceral, so deep that it both hurts and heals. I was in the country with a friend checking out a farm for sale. I exited one of the many tattered barns and as I came around the bend Buddy was just standing there.  He appeared as a hologram floating in the mist, in the fog. It had been 7 years since we last were together. I thought of him every day and while most of the thoughts were happy and provided me with wonderful memories of our life together; there were always those waves that washed over me at night - a tide burying me somewhere in the sand. But now he stood in front of me and the hologram transitioned into all of Buddy and his beauty - just the way I remembered him -- healthy, handsome and goofy of course. Buddy was quite a character. He was my birthday present when I turned 30 ( a Flat Coat Retriever we adopted from a shelt

It's a sick, haunting thought but we all know someone who has passed suddenly, tragically and unexpectedly.  And if you are single and you have a dog - at some point you have to ask yourself - -  "Who will take care of my dog if I die? Having volunteered at a dog shelter, I often came in touch with dogs who had been left behind after their owners had passed away. There was no succession plan like people have for their kids. These dogs were instant orphans missing their home and their human mom/dad. Dogs suffer in silence. The deep sadness and confusion is difficult to alleviate because we can't explain to them what has happened and they can't ask any questions. I'm alive and I don't leave my dog with anyone. I have had dogs my entire life and they have accompanied me on all my vacations (camping, hiking, no planes - car rides - anything for my pooches). My whole life has revolved around my dogs and my present dog has only been with

Since you left I have been crashing into furniture in the dark I have been waiting to feel something for someone else I've re -examined the whole thing Taken it apart piece by piece Argued to the left Argued to the right I'm afraid to go to the places we use to hang out Afraid I may see you - Afraid I may not see you I come home at the end of the day hoping you will be here hoping you've changed your mind about me about us about everything I pray for amnesia to dull the pain I fear that without you there is no me I lay awake at night Waiting to hear your key in the door Waiting for you to come back and tell me that everything is alright that  you never stopped loving me and you will never leave again I need to see you I need to hear you speak my name And I promise you this...  I will wait here A few more moments And if you do not show up As difficult as it may be I will wait here forever I'm sorry Come find me

I know you love me more than you love yourself. I know that you think of me all day when you are at work and I am at home thinking about you. I know you would skip a weeknight out because I have been alone all day and weeknights are for me and you. I know that if I wait on the floor beneath your chair that sooner or later you will drop some food and I will grab it and gobble it down before you can take it away from me. I know all of your pain and have counted all of your teardrops and I don't like anyone who has hurt you or anyone who may hurt you. I know you made sacrifices when you rescued me and that you gave me a second chance. I know that when you came to the shelter I noticed you right away and I wanted you to take me home. I know that when you saw me in the shelter, you thought I was cute and you heard my story and you felt badly and as much as you wanted to save me you were concerned as to whether you would be the right parent/home for me but yo

My dog is brilliant and so is yours. Yeah they chase their tails and steal your socks and smell people's butts but they are still far more advanced than you and me in terms of their perception of time and life itself.  So I  was watching this series on Showtime called "The Big C" (actually quite good) and the main character decided to participate in a "make my life better" type weekend conference (led by the amazing Susan Sarandon). The metaphor/mission/message was delivered at the start of the weekend with participants receiving knapsacks that they had to fill with large rocks. They then had to wear the knapsacks on their backs over the course of the weekend until they were able to prove that they had let go of the past - stuff like regrets, broken relationships, money not well spent. I thought it was kind of cliche until that very night I caught myself doing the usual staring at the ceiling obsessing about the past - break ups, losses, failure

Kiss Me  Lips  Tongue Inhale Exhale Rock Me Fill Me Deep Rescue Me Hold Me Explore Me Here There Everywhere In the dark In the light Up Down Again and Again Taste Me Tasting You Warm Wet Love Lust Sex All of Me All of You Accept Me Respect Me Kiss Me For all of those who have found love and to the brave souls who are willing to try and find it again.

moving on it's a survival skill like making fire building a shelter finding water but no one teaches us how to move on after suffering a loss experiencing failure the end of a relationship the end of something that is never supposed to end Love                 we stumble and fall lose direction lose ourselves because we have no idea how to move on we remain stuck in the middle where there is no beginning and no end obsessing over the same thoughts going in circles with an aching head and a beaten soul we all need to move on I do You do because there is nothing in the stillness and while you wait there someone somewhere is moving on from you

We had met on a sleepy, Sunday afternoon, at an Espresso Bar in Old Montreal. It was the kind of day that you don't want to leave your place, or even get out of bed.  But the loneliness, creeps in, the day lingers on and you leave so you can find someone to bring home. I was sitting at a corner table, writing words that didn't connect, wondering where the missing piece of the puzzle, to my sunken love life had gone. He was at the table beside me, sketching birds flying across the sky in unison, in a shape that resembled a heart. He had sandy brown hair that he pulled away from his face, only for it to fall back within seconds. His eyes were blue and he had a cleft in his chin that I wanted to nibble. He felt my eyes upon him. We struck up a conversation. He showed me his art, I showed him my words. We didn't ask one another's names. Who cares about a name. We knew we would be leaving together.  He held my hand from under the table, stroking his fingers across the

10 has sex with various shaped pillows 9 invites friends over to watch Game of Thrones on Netflix 8 tries on your clothes (because he is sick and tired of walking around naked all the time) 7 farts something so awful even he has to clear the room 6 logs onto your  computer for doggy online dating and creates a completely fictitious profile 5 logs onto your computer for YOUR online dating and creates a completely fictitious profile 4 sleeps then awakes at the thought of applying to college and doing something with his life but then realizes  that  would mean less sleep so forgets about it and goes back to sleep 3 updates his profile on LinkedIn so he can get a job and buy a new Kong 2 unmakes the bed and rubs  himself  all over the sheets and thinks it's funny And the #1 THING YOUR DOG DOES WHILE YOU ARE AT WORK: perfects his “IT WASN'T ME” face for when you walk through the door                                           Whisky's